We fuck on video, again, after a vicious breakup and a weird reconnection. It deepens quickly but there is no more cybersex, no good written erotic story. When I hint at it, try to open a new erotic story, he comes back with:
“I can’t find my glasses. Can’t read your fuck.”
So I give up on the erotic story until a few nights later. I am in a dark place. He has fallen off the wagon and is drunk enough I can tell by his text. It’s intense and damaged again. I need him. I seek him.
“You still ok if I come to Barcelona?” I ask.
“Are you not here already?” he says. My heart leaps.
“That sounds like a yes.”
“Oh you are going to get excited now or write hundreds of words in your sweet deliciously formed text.” he asks. I’m annoyed at his comments on my wordiness. It’s not my fault he’s having trouble reading. “Tell me what to do…” he continues. I will answer that first.
“Breathe. Wet. Broad, soft, flat strokes with your tongue.” and then can’t help myself from commenting defensively on his dig at my words “I thought you were sapiosexual. I can be dumb, daddy. Just lick it till I shake and then flip me over and fuck me. Both soft at first and then harder and then the fuck as hard as you can til u come then rest and do again.”
“Usual.” he responds.
“That’s not super intelligent omg. And we’ve never done exactly that.” I whine.
“Neither is sapiosexuality. We thus are going to do that.” he says.
“Usually we stare into each other’s eyes not bite a pillow screaming “deeper” while pulling our ass cheeks apart to facilitate…” I trail off
“…My cock in your pussy.” he finishes.
“Yes. As per agreement.” I say.
“Your pussy around my cock. Tight wet holding me.” he says.
Time slows down. I want to create an erotic story with him, but we are rusty.
“Hot tight hold. And just like that everything is okay. The missing piece.” Will the erotic story continue?
“Give me it.” he says.
“I am tied. Blindfolded. What do I have to give. Strokes soft folds slow moves…”
“You have been reading my emails and diary…” he says, in a turn of the tables. Usually he is so on point with feeding into my fantasies I’m sure he’s been spying on me.
“…Little desire cries” I continue.
“From your lips and my tip.” he finishes.
“Tryna make you fall so I can have it deeper.” I admit.
“Use me. Love me for it. Use me again. I am relaxed. Seated. Trying to peek over the fold. Legs parted. Feet on floor lips spread. Invitation. Pouting. As one does.” I smile.
“Love you.” he says. This is new. He tells me he loves me. Often. I don’t know what to make of it. I ignore it.
“I’m better with you inside me.” I admit.
“You need my cock inside you!? Before or after the blindfold?” he asks.
“During.” And then the erotic story loses its track.
“I need to fuck you. Is that ok to say?” he says.
“Yes more than ok”
“I want to fuck you.” he repeats.
“I want you to fuck me. Want to to grab me by the rope and drive deep until I sigh your name in relief. I want you to talk to me until you can’t because you’re working me so hard you can’t breathe and talk.” I try to get the erotic story back into a flow.
“My hand is on my cock thinking everyway I want to fuck you.” he says
“What’s the first way? What do you want from me? Right now.” I ask.
“Like seeing your eyes. Like fucking you as hard as I can. Your spine taught just a few degrees off horizontal to my cock. I want to fuck you Zoe.
Yes. I want to fuck you Zoe.” he says.
“I like pushing back against you until you show me your male strength. Have to pull away whimpering to keep your cock from slamming the parts that don’t like it. I like that reminder. Like it when you grab me by the back of the head while I suck your cock. Like your hands on my hips and my belly and your lips on mine and yes.
I want to fuck you Favorite.” This much is true.
“I really do want to fuck you. When?” he asks. And then he switches to audio. “I’ve lost my glasses and now you’re being such a tease. Why are you being such a tease?” he asks. His voice makes me weak in my knees.
“May.” I answer.
“May???” he asks.
“I can’t just fly halfway around the world the next day you know, I’m not made of money. When did you lose your glasses?” I ask. I bought him those glasses. He doesn’t answer me. “You need fuck me. I feed you. We sleep. May. You can’t read my fuck. You still have your glasses scrip? Maybe a monocle. Something with a chain…Yes ok. Extra pillows. Ride you. Slowly. Rocking.”
“Ride me. My face. My cock. Please. Is that too much to ask or expect!? I want to fuck you Zoe.” he says. The erotic story flails.
“Come in me (but don’t come in me).” I clarify.
“I come in your mouth. After hours of fucking you. I come in your mouth. That is what you want
You want so much else as well…” he realizes.
“I want in this fantasy world for you to come deep inside me while holding me close and looking me in the eyes. Yeah. I do want so much else.”
“I know u do.” he says.
“Want you to fuck me against every wall. I resent all the furniture we haven’t fucked upon.”
“I want all the positions we haven’t fucked yet. Want your cunt.” he says.
“I want your cock.” I say.
“I want your mouth. Why would you want my cock? As much as I need the heat and tightness of your cunt? The relief of fucking your mouth? Holding your back finding new games to play.” he muses.
“I want to play with you. Know now how you come. I want to play with you. Edge you. Make you squirm come squirt and fuck you for hours. Ok?” he asks again for consent.
“Yes yes. Yes yes yes. I don’t know a thing about you and I want to learn and play and forget and learn again.” I beg.
“Let us teach each other. I need to fuck you.” he says.
“Yes.” I consent.
“I really need to fuck you.” he repeats.
“Yes.” I repeat. “I want to smile and remember you when someone talks about that thing I’d never done before we did it. But mostly I just want to look in your eyes and feel your cock inside my pussy and make you laugh and feel that way you burst when you come”
“❤️ I have a sophisticated sense of humour babe. And my cock in my imagination is inside you outside you. Sliding against your lips and clit. Inside you, shallow and hard. Are you tight? Wet? Hot? Body meeting my mine? My mind and yours. I need to fuck you Z.”
“I’m dancing with you. Naked. Hot. So tight.” I say, thinking of his hand on his cock. Nothing but a pussy. Nothing but tight, warm, aching need. No more words. Just fuck.”
“Flip you over and over. I always wanted to tie you and paint you whilst fucking your silence.” he remembers.
“Oh yes please.” I agree.
“U are the long deal kind of girl. You are long term complex…” he says, acknowledging it.
“I fast forward to the part where your come mixes with the tears and paint and sweat and drool inside your ruined artwork. Smeared and grinning. ‘More?'”
“Licking you how you taught me. Next I play at the beginning of your cunt how you taught me…” his erotic story comes in fits and starts.
“I will come for you a dozen times. I am grinning. And I tell you yes. Moaning yes. Yes with words. With eyes. Yes with pussy.”
“You are draining me dry. Waiting on your each moment. I want to fuck you.” he complains.
“I never empty you. You say I do but it’s not true. I work hard and whisper in your ear and ride you and pull you into me with slap of skin on skin and fuck you with a swivel. And you come and still say ‘empty me‘. Still want my mouth.”
“I want your mouth.” he acknowledges.
“I want to suck your cock as always. As always the weight and shape and taste of you uncut and made as only you are against my palate makes me shiver and dew. That beauty that is you there in that place I feel you most. That is why I love to suck your cock Favorite. Closer to you. Closer to me. Also less words when you are in my throat. Listen to you ah and oh instead of complaining that I am writing to you. To you. Lucky you.
You are fucking me, lucky Favorite.
Like no other with your cock like no other. Let me feel it get hard against my tongue and lips. Gets me so hot I have to rub myself. Maybe you’ll be a good boy and fuck my pussy with your finger shallow but in the same rhythm as you fuck my mouth with your cock deep. Is this what you want, to fuck me? All of me?”
“Yes I want to fuck all of you and we are going to do that. From mouth to pussy. I am going to fuck you. Because you want me to. And I want to.”
“We are also going to blindfold each other. For trust. Both sides.” he says. We have severely damaged each other’s trust and I am flying across the Atlantic to see him anyway.
“Easier for me to trust that way so not so fair. I don’t trust your visual nature.” I point out.
“Don’t be silly. Why do you not trust my visual nature? I am verbal.”
“Let’s not derail a good fuck. I am so verbal but so damn shy around you. You hit that perfect spot. Bashful and wet. So ashamed of what you’ve done to my body just by giving a nod. Walking in. Sending a message. Wrought. Overcome. Le sigh.”
“Are u a honey pot?” he asks.
“There’s so many meanings to that term.” I say, wondering which he means.
“There are.” he replies.
“Honey kills bees. ☹️”
“Wasps do too.” Our erotic story is far off the rails now.
“Wasps can fuck off and die evil mfs. House used to be full of them. Cedar. They loved it.” I remark.
“I love when you get passionate.”
Taking this in. Grinning.
“I love that you don’t tell me to calm down and stop being so negative.”
“I never shall.” he promises. This makes me smile.
“I shall go back to sucking your cock.” Pointing at his use of the word “shall”.
“I want to fuck you.” he says, again.
“You have made my heart smile. I want you to want to fuck me. Want to fuck you even still when you’re inside me I want you like I’ve never had you. I want to flirt. I want to tease you in public. Want you to tie me to the bed and blindfold me and do whatever the fuck you want.
I want to watch you jerk off. I can still see you standing over me on that shitty Ikea couch.”
“That shitty ikea couch.” he repeats.
“The way you move makes me wet.” I repeat.
You.” he distills.
“Can’t help but think of racing when after so much rocking I need more and lean down trailing breasts across your chest whispering in your ear “come please come for me” and you bend knees and I bounce back against your thighs each time that delicious dick rubbing me just so that spot that angle that pace that speed that stroke.
That last mile.” I try to get the erotic story rolling.
“Fuck you. I can’t race without you. Part of my nature. I want to fuck you. You your body the one I want to fuck.” he says.
“No rider no race. I’m coming baby.” I say.
“Hahaha. Are you?” he asks.
“Not right now. May.” I say.
“May.” he confirms.
This post is #23 in a series documenting cybersex with my favorite lover, including that one time we went at it relentlessly 16 hours a day for 3 weeks straight.
Here are the rest of our online sessions:
2: Your Cock
4: Your Cunt
5: Shower Sex
8: Empty Me
12: 20% Battery
13: Online Flirt
14: Hot Messaging
15: Side of Shibari
21: Erotic Stories