There was a time when an OKCupid date was guaranteed, and when OKCupid functioned as the best dating site on the internet. It had a good run, that site. Eventually they modeled it after Tinder more and more and it devolved to the point where it’s no longer possible to make a good connection.
There was a time, though, when it functioned as a search engine with algorithms sophisticated enough to consistently serve me people that I was actually into. Perhaps not the way they intended, however, as the highest matches would instantly be friendzoned. It was that 70%-80% range that produced the perfect lovers. Contention and power grabs are such an important part of attraction. Feisty OKCupid date.
In any case, I find an OKCupid date. He is bearded, which isn’t my favorite thing, especially the thick hipster beards like he has. But he is dangerous and unlawful, and does stupid shit like major structural modifications in support of growing weed in his rented apartment in New York City back when it was illegal. He works with his hands, in construction, and can make anything – including designed storefronts that have serious aesthetic parameters.
He likes to do dabs, and he likes to smoke weed, and he likes to drink. We do all those things together.
Our first date we meet at a bar and drink Mezcal, and I like that though it isn’t his usual poison he is perfectly happy to accompany me and drink the same way I do. I know that he is in the Burning Man scene, but it isn’t until we began to discuss it in detail and share camp information that suddenly we both remember that we have met once before.
It blows my mind. I don’t recognize him until we are halfway through this first date. We are both polyamorous and have talked about our partners. Putting two and two together, I realize that not only have I met him, but that his partner was in my Burning Man camp for two years.
I have had this happen before, with The Madman, but in the opposite direction, meeting him in the default world and then not recognizing him at Burning Man. I met him in Los Angeles the first time, and then when I met him five years later at Burning Man we didn’t remember that we’d met each other until we’d already been flirting for a few days. The feeling of realization is so unique, and yet here I am feeling it twice.
That’s Burning Man for you, it can alter who people are to the point of not being able to recognize them.
So, my OKCupid date and I realize we’ve met each other halfway through the date. It changes things slightly. I don’t quite see him as independent in the same way that I do before this, because of knowing who his partner is. I treat him differently, perhaps. Am not quite as respectful.
This adds to our chemistry. He has something to punish me for.
He is a short, wiry man, and I’m a tall, curvy woman. When he asks to kiss me at the end of the date I get shocked by his confidence. When I said yes he grabbed me and put his back into it. No less of a man because of his stature, he could throw me around like laundry.
We soon set up a second OKCupid date, agreeing that I would come over to his house and bring my dab rig, and we get high on his product with my tools, since he usually just rolls spliffs with tobacco, weed, and oil. I prefer straight dabs. Hot, high temperature dabs off a titanium nail are a guilty pleasure. If I’m being good I’ll use an enail and bring the temperature down. But this was back when I was still using a blowtorch.
And he likes it. He likes watching me use tools that he is far more familiar with because of his work.
Almost every date we had after this works the same way. I’ll bring over my dab rig, we’ll do some dabs, and then have rough sex.
The man is rough in bed. He has a high sex drive and deep needs, and I like it. I have to tell him to be more gentle with me sometimes, but he quickly figures out that if he gives me a ton of orgasms I’ll let him slam his hard dick into me as much as he wants.
I remember being so embarrassed as a teenager when I’d be fucking hard and long from behind and air would get shoved up my pussy and come out as pussy farts.
He takes me far beyond the embarrassment.
“Look what you fucking did to me.” I say.
“You mean listen to what I’m fucking doing to you.” he says, wrenching me back onto all fours and slamming his dick into me from behind. Red-faced, breath coming just a little less often, muscles tense.
“Come on why’d you stop, can’t push it out when I’m pushing into you?” he teases, trying to get me to do it more, trying to overpower my body.
Overpowering my body.
I’m dripping wet from five orgasms from eager munching. He licked me relentlessly and didn’t care how long it took or how much I begged, just found a spot and mined it to the core. Pulled wreaths of tension outta my pussy muscles which he now takes advantage of as I melt and envelop him while he grunts and I moan as he fucks me harder and harder.
His body tenses and the tendons in his neck stand out as he loses breath, working me until he comes hard and collapses next to me, yanking the condom off and tossing it randomly away from us.
I’ve always liked men that don’t carefully clean up, as long as they are safe, and he is.
He turns to me and smiles, both of us resting near one another in post-fuck haze. We start to drift off until there is a knock at the door.
My eyes widen. He motions for me to stay still and there. I do, still, sweating, naked.
He throws on a robe and goes to the door. I recognize the voice as a campmate from Burning Man. She’s come by to pick up or drop off something. They have a full on conversation in the kitchen. He doesn’t tell her I’m there. I’m sitting motionless, powerless, in the bedroom. I’m sure that if he wanted her to know he’d have told her immediately, and as a guest in his home I’ve no choice but to obey his read on the situation.
Something about that moment and him not revealing my presence, for whatever reason he chooses not to do so, breaks the spell for me.
It had up until then been a nice thing that we shared a group of mutual friends. Nice that we both had respect for the same humans and had references on each other should we need them. But something felt off and odd about that interaction. It wasn’t just him trying to control me. It was him trying to control his image. Shame and secrecy are a turn-off.
We fuck one more time.
Long inhales. Hot dabs. Swigs off the bottle. Kisses. Laughs.
His beard on my thighs. The hairs stimulating me. Tongue jabbing happily between my lips. Strong hands grabbing my ass and thighs. His hands pulling. Pulling his mouth into my clit and me into his mouth. Chasing contact. Eagerly, greedily, intensely lapping me.
Gravity and magnetism through his tongue. Phat taste buds circling my clit gruffly. Licking me so hard and so much that I numb out before I can get close, which makes it take forever, but he’s in it for the long haul and he’s not licking me for me, he’s licking me for him.
He wants to feel my clit on his tongue. OKCupid date wants his beard covered in my juices, wants to feel me struggle and shimmy and protest underneath him. He wants to give me more than I want.
And he does.
Shuddering thighs, quaking beyond my control, overstimulation rippling through me and shaking out of me until my body gives in and gives up and there is his tongue, lapping me, giving it all to me.
It’s only now that he curls a finger inside me, strumming my g-spot like a guitar string while he bears down knowingly on my clit as I build to a screaming orgasm. Feels like my whole body lifts off the bed at once the tension jolts through me like ball lightning leaving me spent and a wet noodle.
Before I even stop shaking I hear the sound of his belt and my OKCupid date is on top of me pants only down to his knees, rolling on a condom.
“That’s right.” he says to my surprised face. He can tell I expected a moment he’s earned the right not to give, and he’s going to take everything now..
My OKCupid date wrenches my thighs apart and sinks his cock into me to the hilt, throwing his head back with an “aahhhh” and waiting a beat before pulling it completely out again and then plowing it back into me.
I am puffy and engorged and every stroke feels delicious. I need him inside.
But he doesn’t give a fuck what I need, right now he needs to feel the first plunge as many times as he can, pulling out all the way out and then slamming into me, at the end a slight pull-out and then shove in even further. Relishing in the all-the-way-in and the all-the-way-out. Ramming me with the full length of his pole. The jab coming so fast and hard that it finds its way inside me through sheer force. Full. The man fucks me thusly for a minute before moving onto new kinds of thrust.
He fucks me hard and fast in long strokes with a slight circle at both nadir and zenith. Hips slamming together. I watch him smiling at my helplessness. I can’t move. Can’t do anything but be fucked be him and that gets him hot. Me under his control. Him, eyes on the price. He’s just going for orgasm. Tensing. Harder. Faster.
And then when I see his neck tense and feel his hips shift for that last bit of leverage I do him the same favor he did me suck my finger wet then reach around and curl up into his ass for his prostate in one swift press and he is coming and I see in his eyes can’t believe it at the same time been waiting for it and my OKCupid date backs up into my finger until it’s where he needs it and he fucking explodes roaring.
It’s the best time we ever fuck.
It’s the last time we ever fuck.