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The Zoe Diaries: Teenage Diaries

What to write in teenage diaries? I wrote many things. I have some fifty volumes of journals from my teen years.

What to write in teenage diaries? Write about your friendscrushesboyfriends, and girlfriends. And movies. And food.

What to write in teenage diaries? Here is part 3 what I wrote about a dear friend of mine, Jeremiah. (Here is part 1) (Here is part 2). He was a savant, quickly becoming one of the best math students in the country and gaining fame for it.

When Jeremiah was in his mid-thirties he had a psychotic break which transformed him as a person. He came back with a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder and paranoia. He’s escaped treatment and healing.

The joy and glee has been sapped from his life forever. Breaks my heart to read these entries from when he was mentally healthy.

What to write in teenage diaries? Write about the people you love. You never know when those journals may be the only record of them.

Sat. February 22nd 1992 

I saw Jeremiah, I thought that I had after-school quire, so I spent the hour talking to David S. Who I like. Then I saw Jeremiah. He’s such a sweetie. I really miss him. I invited them both to my party on the 20th.

Friday March 13th 1992

I saw Jeremiah again. He’s a sweetie. “The first word of this sentence is false. (It’s actually the second). 

Friday March 20th 1992

Later when James and I were lying there staring at the moon (full) he started to sing “That’s Amore. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore…”  then said out of the blue “I love you” and I said “I love you too.” Later he asked me what I was thinking when I was thinking “I love him”.

Jeremiah was watching all of this the whole time. Our own personal voyeur. I said “Jeremiah, why don’t you go to sleep.” He replied “I can’t, there’s too much going on.” Silly kid. I love him.

Monday March 23rd 1992

Melissa and Jeremiah made out at the party

Tuesday March 31st 1992

Then I got to go home and enjoy my new They Might Be Giants CD. This one song (Fingertips) reminded me of Jeremiah so much that I had to call him. He’s sick. So am I. He’s cool. He got a math problem published in an international magazine. He’s so cute.

Tuesday the 21st of April

I saw Jeremiah. I missed Jeremiah. 

Saturday May 2nd 1992

Anyway, Jeremiah came to meet me a little late (he had a tie on from work, it was cute) we went to eat and then to see White Sands. Then we walk’d back here, and he play’d me some stuff he had made up on the piano. We play’d Trivial Pursuit. Then he called his father and left.

I like being with Jeremiah. He was being really silly when we got our popcorn remind’d me of my father. He has a lot of what I’m missing, expertise at one subject and he has a lot of what most of the people in my life are missing, creative genius. He’s great. Sometimes I wish he would be more serious when he isn’t.

Saturday May 17th, 1992

Then Jeremiah called and we went to see a French movie called “Toto le hero” It was pretty good. The French was understandable. I did a good job on the comprehension front. I’m very happy that Jeremiah invited me to go someplace. I’m always inviting him to go places, and I’ve always o’erjoyed to see him. It makes me happy to know that he feels the same way. I think that he’s a really great friend. Almost all of my stresses are relieved. I’m very happy about that. YAY!!!

Monday May 25th 1992

Oh, earlier I called Jeremiah parce que’d called me while I was gone. We’re going to lunch next Sunday.

Wednesday May 27th 1992

Afterwards, Jason, Jeremiah, Ducky, Joy (Jason’s best friend), James, Melissa, Dave F., Feather, David S, and I went to Friendly’s

Sunday May 31st 1992

Today I went out for dinner with Jeremiah. We went to Coyote Loco. Then we walked to P+C and I bought us friendship pacifiers. He bought balls. Watching him bounce his balls while sucking on his pacifier was a sight. I went back to his house + he showed me nifty musical stuff on the computer. He met a girl named Ruth at his math thing + they made out thrice. She’s going to be in his dorm for 4 weeks as well. He also has a coffee date in August with another girl. Sherry or something. They’re both math babes. 

Tuesday June 2nd 1992

Jeremiah apparently called me yesterday. I should call him back.

Jeremiah invit’d me to a goodbye coffee at Café Decadence in Collegetown on Friday at 10:00 pm. I think that’s cool

Friday June 5th 1992

Anyway, she was upset, so naturally Jay stayed w/ her instead of coming to Jeremiah’s goodbye coffee. That was really fun. Jeremiah was sweet, Travis and I were on the same “technical wave”, Delia was sexy, Dave F. was just himself and James was nice + cute, Ducky was friendly, Mary was playful and…. Mindy + Garrett flirted a lot. 

Weee. Well, we had a great time. I teased my hair, Jeremiah kissed me on the cheek.

Saturday June 6th 1992

Then I walked downtown + saw Jeremiah again.

Tuesday June 9th 1992

Desert Island list:

  1. Jay
  2. Ducky
  3. James
  4. Melissa
  5. Jeremiah
  6. Garrett
  7. Mindy
  8. Mary

Wednesday July 8th, 1992

Then Jeremiah called me and invited me over. I went to his house and we talked and played chess (he womped me) and watched “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” “Hare Feathers” (Marx Bros.) and part of the Pippin video.

We chatted w/ Ducky. Jeremiah chatted under my name. Ducky poured his heart out to Jeremiah about Jason, thinking that it ws me. Jeremiah convinved Ducky that he + I (Jeremiah + I) had had oral sex. It was really funny. Then we confess’d, but I did not tell Ducky that Jeremiah had been me (I had been Jeremiah) all along. Heh. Ducky is gullible.

Jeremiah stole blankets. We went for dinner (it was wet) at the Souvlaki House. I came home and wore a sheet until my shirt dried. I met his grandmother Sylvie. Oooh.

Saturday July 11th 1992

I saw Jeremiah (he was getting a haircut).

Monday July 13th 1992

Jeremiah called and wanted to kidnap James + I. Hehe. We had to turn him down. Well, I would have gone, but James really didn’t want to.

Tuesday July 14th 1992

My day was pretty uneventful Sarah (the summer intern) is nice. She just graduated and knows everyone (Ducky, Jeremiah, Igor…) She’s very sweet. Jeremiah likes her Jewish hair. Heheh. Silly old Jeremiah. I love him. I love everyone…

Saturday July 18th 1992

Oh, I forgot, Jeremiah won’t be at the party, but the weekend after he and some people and I are going camping!

Thursday July 30th 1992

I love Jeremiah!

Monday August 3rd 1992

After that I met Jeremiah at 5:30 + we had dinner at Hal’s. We discuss’d life. He doesn’t understand why I’m still with James. Neither do I. But that’s okay. His sister has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She worries about her face. So does David F., he washes his hands. 

The symptoms of this are compulsive neatness, strange rituals, and irrational justification for those rituals. David F’s thing was that he might have semen on his hands + get someone pregnant if he touched them. He thought he could have semen on his hands from putting them in his pockets, etc. And certain things in his house were “contaminated” so after he touched them he’d have to wash his hands.

This is so interesting to me. I really should be some sort of psycho (some sort of psycho, right). Anyway I gave Jeremiah a ride almost to his house (he isn’t allow’d to drive with me yet). Then I drove home, taking a little detour through the pond to see the pond. Nothing big, took bout a minute. 

Saturday August 15th 1992

Jessica (and Jeremiah) were at the Geekfest.

Desert Island List:

Iggy

Jay

Jeremiah

Melissa

Nika

Sunday August 30th 1992

Anyway, eventually we had to part + I came home. I told Jay, Mindy, James, Jeremiah, Ducky (in that order). [about me and Iggy getting together]

Wednesday Sept. 9th 1992

Jeremiah called me today.

Saturday Sept. 12th 1992

The geekfest was neat. Jeremiah was there. I practiced whipping. I’m good at it now. At some point James said that Iggy, he + I should take a walk, so eventually Iggy, James, Jeremiah + I went outside, but Iggy couldn’t deal w/ it so James + I took a short walk to talk. 

Sunday Sept. 15th 1992

Jeremiah told Iggy I was a sweety-poo.

Thursday Sept. 17th 1992

I also miss Jeremiah

Monday Sept. 28th1992

I spoke to Jeremiah today. 

Tuesday October 6th 1992

I called Jeremiah to tell him that I had his ticket, but he wasn’t home.

Wednesday Oct. 7th 1992

–Break- Jeremiah called, we’re doing something Saturday –end break-

Saturday October 10th 1992

I spent the day on the pretense that I was to spend the evening at Jeremiah’s, but he postponed because his parents were in a strange mood (his parents? Hm.).

Tomorrow I’m staying over at Jeremiah’s. At least I hope it will work this time. 

Sunday October 11th 1992

It was interesting being completely alone with Jay. After the movie (Jay got a kick out of the seats) we walked around for a while and then I went to Jeremiah’s. We played Super Tetris (awesome game) and then watched the debates. Perot was pretty good. Hm. Then we went for dinner at the Nines (I got my period. Bah!) We had to stop so I could buy pads. If t’were anyone save Jeremiah I might have been embarrassed. Oh well. I love the Nines. After that we went back to Jeremiah’s house + played more Tetris. Eventually (at about 3:30) we went to bed. Jeremiah said something about being w/ Blaire last night, + how she almost slept over. Parents in a bad mood indeed. Sigh. Jeremiah has changed slightly. I guess he’s more social. Dunno.

Saturday November 7th 1992

Today I took the SAT on standby. Jeremiah was there. He sat next to me. I did copy off of him for the last 5 ?’s to one of the math sections. I feel no guilt. He’s funny. We were on the same wavelength.

Sunday November 8th 1992

Today I got up + called James + Mindy, Mary + Jeremiah. We decided to meet at Café Dec in collegetown before the They Might Be Giants concert. We did. I bought a flower for John L (or rose) Garrett is getting me hooked on country music. The concert was awesome, but not as great as the last. We were in the dress circle on the side.

Twas most groovy. I went down to the front + after one unsuccessful try gave the rose to Jeremiah, who threw it and it landed right at John L’s feet. He looked down + grinned through the next song.

Twas an amazing concert. Jay, Jod + Joanna + Frank were there as well (wow, they must have) not bought the tickets. They were in the balcony opposite. [in margin David S was there. Damien was there. Matt T was there.] After the concert we all met outside + decided to go to pizza hut. We forgot Jeremiah + when James Mindy, Garrett + Mary went back to find him he was gone.

Tuesday Nov. 10th 1992

Desert island list: Iggy, Jod, Jay, Melissa, Jeremiah.

Wednesday November 11th 1992

I wonder how I did on the SAT. Really would like to know. I wonder how Jeremiah did. Heheh. Like he has anything to worry about.

Tuesday November 17th 1992

Were I to be stuck on a desert island: Iggy Jay Jod Jeremiah Melissa

I should call Jeremiah sometime soon. 

Fri. Dec. 4th 1992

I got 1300 on my SAT J. I wonder what Jeremiah got.

Tuesday December 9th 1992

I talked to Jeremiah today. J. I miss him. He got 1520 on the SAT….790 on math…Wow. He should take it again. Tis too late.

Happy birthday Jeremiah!

I spoke to Jeremiah last night. He got 1520 on the SAT. He got 790 on the math section. Heh, silly boy.

Tuesday December 29th 1992

Jeremiah is most likely coming to the party. Good. 

Sunday February 21st 1993

Jeremiah didn’t come to my party yesterday because he fell asleep. 

Tuesday March 23rd 1993

After work (at 2:30) I went to school (where my spurs got less reaction than they did at the other school) and picked up Jeremiah (of all people!) That was amazing. We went to his house for a while and talked.

He’s in love with Blaire. Wow. That’s all I really can say. He’s still Jeremiah, yet he seems to have grown a bit. His father left him marijuana to try. Hm. He… seems to have lost some (not all) of the innocence. I missed him very much. 

Wednesday March 24th 1993

Desert Island List

Iggy Jay Jod Melissa Jeremiah Julius Mindy

Thursday March 25th 1993

I saw Jeremiah yesterday. Whee.

Friday April 9th 1993

I had lunch w/ Jeremiah. He is such a genius. He’s learning German in a week to writ a German essay + try to win this prize. He’s still w/ Blaire. We went to Coyote Loco + then drove around for a while. 

Monday April 26th 1992

I love limericks

There once was a girl from Peru

Whose limericks ended on line two.

There once was a man from Verdun.

Those two are Jeremiah’s. Heheh. I should call him. 

Thursday July 29th

Jeremiah’s back. I’m going out w/ him tomorrow. 

Wednesday September 22nd 1993

I miss Jeremiah…

Monday October 11th 1993

I miss Jeremiah.

Thursday November 25th 1993

I went out w/ Jeremiah. Well, I went to his house. We played Scrabble. He won. We built a fire. He gave me a backrub. He taught me Calculus. Twas fun.

Wednesday Feb. 9th 1994

Desert Island List

Iggy, Jay, Craig, Eric, Melissa + …Dirk J I never can get it to be only five. Heh. Just…well, I don’t know if Dirk would be on there. Jeremiah I’d probably put there too I guess.

Thursday March 3rd 1994

I can’t wait for my vacation. I think I’ll have a small gathering on Friday (the Friday I’m home). H’m.

1. Jay. 2. Mindy 3. Garrett 4. Mary 5. Melissa 6. Marla 7. Alex 8. Joanna 9. Ducky 10. Jod 11. Julius 12. Jeremiah.

Is there anyone I’m forgetting? I don’t think so. Can’t think of any other good friends really. I hope it works.

Friday March 18th 1994

I picked up Ducky. We went to eat. Then we got the CD player from the rental place. Then we went to his house + hung out for a few hours. We went + shopped for the gathering. Then we picked up Mary + went home. Mindy, Garrett, Tom + Kate didn’t come. Jeremiah + Claire did J. I guess Mindy expects me to find her a ride :P. Oh well. I had a pretty good time. Marla is cool.

Saturday May 21st 1994

Melissa lost her virginity, but it was after midnight. Happy am I for her. She walked into the room and announced it. 

The party was excellent. Jeremiah did show up + stay’d o’er. I enjoyed myself. Liza + Jay were going at it all night long. Hah! Hrm. It was cute watching them be a little amateur couple. All sorts of good people came. H’m. I talked a bit w/ Jay. Still I feel a touch of misery, somehow.

Jay + Liza. I don’t want to comment. I stayed up really late talking to Jod. Twas nice. Hm.

Tuesday Dec 27th 1994

I stayed home + helped my sister unpack. I put her matchbooks in order and everything. It’s odd to see her set up house on the downstairs floor… I mean.. so many memories, so much has happened there. In that party room. I remember eating spaghetti w/  Vivian around that too-high table. Heh. I called Jeremiah. Hopefully he’ll join us for New Years. And bring Igor. That would be a very good thing.

Friday January 6th 1995

Once again I wasted the day. Yahoo. Towards evening I got ready + went to Jay’s party. It was pretty cool. Jeremiah was there. That was nice.

Tuesday, May 2nd 1995

I got a message from Jeremiah. It said “William Goldman’s The Princess Bride pg. 181. Love, Jeremiah”. I hope I can find the book. I hope I can find the same edition. If so, I have to think of something to send back. Jeremiah is a good person. He just hit upon something I hadn’t really recognized about myself. I love a challenge, a puzzle. It’s the perfect way to my heart.

Thursday, May 4th 1995 

We then walked to the bookstore and I looked for the solution to Jeremiah’s message to no avail. (I’ve already checked the library). Distressing.


This is the end of the entries that mention Jeremiah in my teenage diaries. Some ten years later Jeremiah and I reconnected and rekindled our close friendship before, a few years later, he had the psychotic break that removed him from my life. I will always love and miss him.


Part One of the Jeremiah Diaries

Part Two of the Jeremiah Diaries


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