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Washington State Cannabis Concentrates

I’ll start this off by saying there just isn’t much to write about. Washington State is one of the least eventful places I’ve spent time. I bet that makes you want to read my paltry review of their cannabis concentrates. 

If it weren’t for the weather, I’d consider spending more time in Seattle. It’s a truly cool city. Bite-size, accessible, full of smart people and things. I’ve friends who work for Microsoft, Facebook, Boeing, and the other local geekeries. I’m fortunate to have gotten a tour of Microsoft in the early 1990’s

I’ve been through Washington State many times, but only have spent and real time in Seattle. 

Most recently, I visited CHOP, the autonomous region that came about as a result of protests against systemic racism,  my account of which can be found here.

During that visit, in June 2020, was also the first time I ate out after restaurants re-opened since the plague shutdown. We chose a small, family-owned Mexican restaurant. There weren’t many tables seated. They had taken most of them out anyway. All the diners were anxious. It was very quiet. 

The family running that restaurant worked so hard. They were religiously masked. Served us with gloves and from as much of a distance as they could. So earnest. First generation Mexican immigrants into the United States and here, their pride and joy, their small business – I felt damn good about supporting it. No one got the plague.

But businesses I can’t feel good about supporting? Anything cannabis in Washington State. Why? In short: it involves rapes with slicey things by the State.

Everyone talks about Colorado.

It’s the first US state that legalized recreational/adult-use cannabis, why wouldn’t they talk about it?

Because it wasn’t. The election that opened up recreational use for the first time in the United States included Colorado AND Washington. Both states legalized at the same time. And, in this proto-example of legalization, we saw how it was going to be an utter shitshow. Each of these two states had totally different plans. Because, you know, why not waste a ton of energy on that? Talk to each other? Figure it out? Nope. Just do your own thing entirely. Don’t even pick up the phone.

And so we saw completely different ways of regulating cannabis in these two examples, which of course have since mushroomed into dozens of states with different regulations. I’ll talk about only a couple of the differences between Colorado and Washington.

The first is that Colorado State got to legalizing SALES of cannabis first. That’s why everyone thinks they were the first to legalize, rather than simultaneous with Washington State Cannabis Legalization. They opened shops. We saw lines around the block on TV. I was there less than a week after Colorado opened the stores, and still had to stand in line. They ran out of weed at a lot of shops.

Washington’s commencement of sales was old news by the time they got there, so we didn’t hear much about it unless we lived in Washington State. Which we don’t.

But, of course, I went to Washington to try it out. Soon after it was legalized. And I bought a gram of budder. And it was fine, but I didn’t really care, because it had FIFTY FUCKING PERCENT SALES TAX.

Yup – we’ve reached the pinnacle and exciting moment of this Washington State cannabis review. WHAT THE FUCK.

And, drilling down into it, I bought this in Bellevue. Apparently it would have been subject to a whole different set of taxation if I had bought it in Seattle. So, drive 20 minutes, get a discount. Each city/county/region has its own taxation. 

To add insult to injury, there’s a 20% tax on alcohol in Washington State too – but the liquor isn’t more expensive (likely prices are lowered because the alcohol mafia is strong, and can afford to do so. Cannabis, not so much). And the price listed on the damn bottle is the price.

Not so with cannabis. You think you just bought a $50 gram because it says everywhere that that’s what it is, and then they’re like “that’ll be $75!”. 

And you’re like “no. no no no.” 

Do not want to pay the State anything. Are you crazy? You’re still locking mfs up in jail for this shit in your own damn state. Why would I give you money? I just spent 20 years buying this shit on the black market and you want me to pay WHAT now?

But of course, they didn’t think of normal people. Or poor people. Or medical patients or people who don’t want to identify as such, but have regular, legit need for cannabis as medicine. They were thinking of elite executives. The geek bro party set. They knew just how little that rich nerds would care about or even notice price.

And they’re right. No one protested. Or at least I think no one protested. After the “fuck you” of that surprise receipt and the clear shitbaggery of Washington State, I decided to buy cannabis concentrates in states where I would be more welcome.

Things did seem a little cheaper during my recent 2020 visit when I bought in Seattle itself. However, it was still budder. Everything on sale was whipped. Or shatter. Or even BHO. This in 2020, when the rest of the world is doing live resin and crystalline sugar yum. They still don’t seem to have caught up on the technology. They’re a couple generations behind.

And so, that is my sparse, lazy, shitty review of Washington State Cannabis Concentrates. I mean, good on them for getting in early, but… ain’t nothing to write home about otherwise.

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